God is the strength of my heart.

last night, i set my alarm clock at 6.10 am.
only had limited amount of time to finish my tasks.
i had to fold a few weeks mountain of clothes,
(hate doing chores. that's why became a mountain)
recap on what i studied yesterday,
pack for kampar trip,
pack my notes to write in cia's house and in kampar (if needed)
and then get ready to go for exam and sleepover in cia's house.

when the alarm clock rang,
i could not even open my eyes to look for my phone,
i snoozed 2 times & decided that i can't wake up.
so changed the time to 7 am.
at 7 am,
i managed to open my eyes halfway.
but i change it to 7.30.
at 7.23,
i woke up.
asked God for strength for this day.
really need to be fully awake the whole day.
don't wanna fall asleep during exam.

so guess what was QT talking bout?
food courts.
haha.
just joking!
it was my fav. verse to put up when i was doing multimedia last time.

He gives hope to the weary
and increases the power of the weak
even youths grow tired & weary
and young men stumble & fall
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength
they will soar on wings like eagles
they will run & not grow weary
they will walk & not be faint.

a great reminder that even though we're limited beings
limited in time, energy, ability, and capacity.
we have a God that is unlimited.
who is so great,
that He can measure the oceans in the hollow of one hand,
collect the dust of the earth in a basket,
names the stars of the heavens
and directs their paths,
knows the rulers of the world and controls their influence,
views the islands as specks of dust,
nations as drops of water in the ocean.

who can u compare God to?
no one is THAT great and mighty.



so as u go about ur busy day,
ask urself,
how will i worship Him?

again.

here i am again.
blogging instead of studying.
the last time i blogged
was before i started studying.

and now,
i'm doing it again.

hmmmm, i wonder why
when i pinched his and my blackhead out
it turns into a red, huge pimple.
is it cuz i pinched it wrongly?
but the last time i did it
it was okay.
but this time it's not.
sheesh.

anyway.......
i shall not divert from my main point of blogging.
wait.........
what's my main point of blogging again?

oh wells.
he keeps telling me that
i dont have much time to study
but in reality,
i do.
my paper's tmr.
so i have got today to study
but no....
he made me think that the paper is today.
so i keep worrying that it's today.
then i think.... oh wait.
it's tmr.

but if i continue on rambling here.
i might not have enough time to study.
think i better get going.

but maybe i'll play one round of my game first.
HEHE!
tata =)

forgotten.

i always think that my memory is quite bad.
can't remember what i wore last week
or even last friday which is only 3 days ago.

so anyway,
this morning when i was revising back what i memorized yesterday,
i couldn't remember at all!
usually, i'll be able to remember
but i couldn't
my mind just went blank.

so this morning was spent memorizing it all over again.
i was really at the brink of giving up.
that's why i spent some time playing game.
during lunch,
i realized that i had some extra notes that i should read bout.
but i didn't have time.
therefore, i decided that it's not THAT important after all.
and guess what....?
nothing bout what i should have read came out today.
haha

during the exam,
i wrote as much and as fast as i could
until my wrists felt like it was gonna break.
haha
i wrote so fast cuz i was afraid that the information would leave me.
to my surprise,
it didn't.
God hasn't given up on me eh.
haha

oh wells.
all i have got left to do is to pray
that my lecturer would love the nonsense that i wrote
and find that it's not nonsense after all!
ahahaha
bah.

all i can think of now is the shopping that i can do when i'm in spore!
ah!
bliss!
can't wait for it!
maybe that's why i'm finding it hard to concentrate.
haha.

for today's subject,
i really dislike the lecturer.
once she starts to talk,
i already feel like sleeping.
seriously.
her voice is so soft.
and most of the time,
i can't hear what is she saying
cuz everyone is busy talking.
but the tips she gave us.
EVERYTHING CAME OUT!
oh my goodness!
when i opened the paper,
i was like.......... 0.0
wah!
can answer!
haha
really praise God!

so continue to pray for me
i have another paper this thursday, next monday, and thursday
some more this weekend i'm gonna be away for college retreat!
haha
can't wait!
i'm so not in the exam mood this time round.

New

There are quite a bit of new things happened since my last post.. Well, for example:

• taking up as the chairman for God's Company since two months ago. Want to do a few things but its all only want for now, don't know when going to put it all into actions. Overall, glad that can serve the Almighty God even in more areas..

• there's a new pain on my left knee there. Somewhere at the knee cap there. Not sure what cause the pain but experience people told me it might have something to do with the ligament. Well, didn't see doctor or anything yet but what I can tell you is I played a futsal game today.. (actually this is not that new, the pain has been there I think for almost a month already)

• have been giving Mandarin tuition to Yong Seo and Seo Jun for over three months now.. These two korean kids, my first two students are studying in a Taipei school somewhere in KL and they are learning Chinese from me.. As you know, our Malaysian Chinese are a bit differnet than the Taipei's, cause we follow China but the Taipei follows Taiwan.. Hence, sometimes is quite hard to teach or help them and in addition to that, most of the time is difficult to teach this 9 and 10 year old simply because they are not interested in learning.. they are doing something they don't like but they are doing it everyday..
  

• having said that, the income I get every month from the tuition are my allowances, no more from parents instead, I've start to give them back a little bit from what I get (feels quite good you know) So, this is something new..

• to the most recent one, which will be happening tomorrow, I will be going for a job interview at Astro Awani.. This is new, this is for full time I suppose cause they are hiring now.. I'm just applying for any suitable position there and my cousin helped to arrange an interview for me cause they are hiring at the moment.. So, really not sure how this is going to work, whether studying and working at the same time will work for them or giving me a part time position, i don't know.. it will be an interview at 4pm on 27Apr09, will ask them clearly about the job and see if they like me and see they will hire or not first then only say la..

With all these new things happening and in a month or so where I'll be completing my Degree course, I really don't know what more is going to be new.. All I know is God knows..

stress is here.

sigh.
finals is starting next week.
even though i feel the stress,
i can't seem to start studying
before i start,
normally i would write out the notes and memorize from there
but i haven't started anything
and my first paper is on monday!
ah!
i'm so lazy!


i was looking back at my old photos.
my room looked so clean back then.
now....
it's just mess.
everyday i look at it
i tell myself when my hols start
i should start cleaning
how many holidays has passed
and yet
my room remains the same.
think it's getting worse.
haha
sometimes it's a wonder
that i can find stuff from the mess


sigh.
exams exams exams exams.
i wanna get A's.
but how am i gonna get A's
when i'm not studying.
this sucks.
my friends keep saying that i don't have to study
and that they should follow what i do


it's like this.
2 days before the exam,
i'll write out my notes.
the night before,
i'll start cramming everything in.
before the exam,
i'll continue cramming.
before going into the room,
i'll tell my friends that i'm so gonna fail.
before opening my paper,
i'll pray REALLY hard.
after exam,
relax and forget everything.


the past 2 sem,
i've done that.
and managed to escape with A's and A-'s.
will i be lucky this time round?
bah.
no idea.
i'll let God amaze me.
should not make Him small in my eyes.
should not limit Him.
ah!
i don't know.
don't know whether He'll help me again.
will He be fed up with my nonsense?
so fed up that He decides not to help me anymore?
ah!
i don't know.

*****************************

think i better change the subject.
on a much lighter note,
i've been meaning to update this.
but kept procrastinating.
not sure how many of u guys watch the Greatest American Dog.
but i've been watching on and off on Star World.
one particular team caught my attention.
cuz of one's unavoidable good looks.
and i've been rooting for them every since.
of course, they won!

seeee.
he's so leng chai right?
i don't really like his dog though
haha!

okay.
better go get ready to fetch him from college! =)

those words.

dreams. oh wow. i used to love dreams. couldn't get enough of it. u know why? cuz i dreamt bout my future boyfriend. how he would ask me to be his girlfriend. the things he would do just to get my attention.

but one thing bout those dreams...... i couldn't see his face. it was always hazy. couldn't make it out. all i know was that he was taller than i am.

every night i would ask God to reveal his face to me. then i could have gone all out to search for him. the one that i've been dreaming bout. but it didn't happen. it would be the same every night. a hazy faced guy who would go all out to win my heart.

as the years passed, i've finally found that guy. the hazy faced guy. slowly the dreams changed. it changed into something horrifying, daunting even. it used to be just a spoken word. spoken out casually.

but it has gotten worse in the past month or so. i would be screaming it out (i think i literally scream it out cuz when i wake up, my throat hurts. so not funny!). demanding for it. the dreams has gotten so bad that now a days when i wake up, i thought it was real. i thought it had happened. i would wake up feeling so tired and defeated. don't feel like doing anything at all. don't wanna go on with life and just wanna stay in bed.

sigh. i can't find a way to stop those dreams. i can't. i know why i have them. but i don't know how to stop them. it's out of my control now. i don't know how much longer until it becomes reality.

pedicure.

on April Fool's day, claire and i went for pedicure. it was my first time and i didn't even notice that it was April Fool's. cheh. claire said that she scratched my car and that was her prank to me. haha! so nonsense right? haha.

i can't wait for the next round. i loved it. being pampered. the leg massage was the best. i didn't want it to stop. but it had to. sheesh. super super nice. actually, it's not only cause of that. i don't really like the color that i chose. but he likes it. he says that it's like a small girl color. bah

by the way, i kept telling him how nice it was after the whole thing. he got so jealous. that at night he decided to cut his nails. both hands and legs. haha. not only did he cut his nails, he filed it as well. see how jealous he was. hahahahaha! unbelievable!

i'll be doing it again before my birthday =) can't wait! hehee

claire

claire started hers first
and she kept making faces cuz it was a little painful
the lady was quite rough
she made me super scared cuz of the silly faces she kept making

then it was my turn
super tension kay!
haha
cuz of this claire la
but turned out
the lady i got was really gentle
she kepy saying sorry when she hurt me
managed to chat with her a little too
turns out, she's 22
from china
married to a msian

claire's

my big fat toes
it was suppose to be a normal flower
but i wanted hearts
so asked them to change the petals to hearts

let me tell u why ours don't look SO nice
it's not our fault
not that we didn't have taste or anything
they gave us this cardboard box with 6-7 plastic folders
u know the kind of folders that u put ur pirated vcd's in?
yeah those.
it was tough choosing our nail art
it wasn't as nice as we wanted it to be
then, after everything, we had to sit down on the couch with a small little fan to dry our nails
and claire, the monkey was bored
she decided to go find for some more folders which were on the shelves
oh how i wished that she didn't do that
we found so many nicer ones!
felt so stupid okayyyyy!
my goodness
i really felt like changing what i've done
but it's too late
aih
so that's why....
that's one of the reason why i can't wait to go back there again.
haha