silly.

of all the silly decisions that i've made today,
i hope and i know that my decision of going for prayer meeting with definitely be the most profitable one.
i've made loads of silly decisions today.

i went to play badminton,
lazed around the whole day,
read a chapter of The Note,
almost fell asleep,
blogged,
attempted to read blogs but stopped myself.

i made a lot of excuses for me not to go for prayer.
but i think i don't wanna miss it.
even though i gotta study.
but prayer is the one that gives me strength and wisdom to study.
i believe that if i put God first,
everything else will fall into place.

i'm not sure whether it's the right mentality.
but i'm sure that if i honor Him,
He will certainly bless me.
maybe not in terms that i want or understand.

aih.

aih.
what am i doing..?
isn't it a good thing that my internet was down for a while.
why must my itchy hands go and fix it.
it's 4.15 pm and i haven't touched my notes yet.

last night i was thinking...
if i start studying at 2.30 pm,
i have (x) amount of hours to study.
sigh.
i hate this.
i know i must study.
but i is lazy.
very very lazy.

it's always like that.
i always get lazy when i have to study for my last paper.

i checked my senior's results.
and only 2 or 3 people got A's for this subject.
the rest had B's or C's....
AHHHHH!!!!

I SHOULD STUDY
I SHOULD STUDY
I SHOULD STUDY
S-T-U-D-Y!
STUDY!!!!

okay..
this is good.
i'm freaking out now.
let's go STUDY!! =)


i know...
i'm crazy!

i trust in Him.

the time has come again
where exams looms near.
this time around.
it's different.
i wasn't lazy.
i just went for camp.
even during camp,
i sacrificed my siesta.
but i thank God that He gave me strength to finish writing my notes today.
i even managed to squeeze in an hour of nap time.

i love the song we sang this morning.

i trust in Him.
i can't really remember the lyrics
but i think the chorus goes something like...

For my Lord, He is good
He is always beside me.

and truly, He is beside me even now.
i hope that my decision to go for camp will result with blessings
in the form of good memory
so that i can keep everything that i've memorized inside.

aloha.

if some of u don't already know...
i have gotten myself a camera.
after researching bout lomo cameras,
the boyfriend and my brother both told me that i should get a normal, proper camera.

so listening to their advice,
i researched.
i did not mind any camera at all.
come what may.
just one that would allow me to take good photos will do.

finally, i did not choose one.
too many options.
too many choices.
but when i was in singapore,
i was reminded of a love that i had forgotten.

i know that God has my best interest in mind.
without a doubt,
even though i'm quite far from Him.
i could see His work throughout this few days in singapore.
and so God has blessed my mum
so that she can bless me =)

Introducing
Olympus Pen

this is the color that i got
wanted the white one
but this is better.
stainless steel.
the other, not sure what it is made of

giving it a try
i never thought olympus would be a good camera
till i held this

exposing it to orchard road air

huge LV bag.
cute little girl.
eagle looking girls, walking and chanting, asking u to shop cuz the shops are open till midnight
then someone asked them to stop for a photo
though they stopped, they continued chanting and shouting.
if u look closely at the last photo, u can see my dad.
scouting places for me to take photos.

some plant that wing lian took.
battery.
wing lian's XXL burger in burger king.
mum's company phone.
which i used to call him.

testing out the features that my camera has

some scenery.
bro said that the clouds was nice.
there was bout a million shots of the trees.
he took tons of the continuous shots.

the 2 drivers.
and one passenger.

leaving the singaporean customs
and on our way back to malaysian soil.


a few shots with cars that coincidentally passed by while i was snapping away
wanted to take photos of the really cool cars.
but they sped past me too fast.




they look like still shots.
cool huh?




these were taken this morning.
by wing lian
what can i say.

a good camera
+
a very willing doggie

MIA.

we've been MIA for a few days
in the blogging world.
and now i'll be MIA for bout 5 days in the real world.
will be going to malacca tmr with the family
cuz uncles are back from the US
then will head on down to spore.
can't wait to get my hands on new clothes, shoes, bags, and game!
retail therapy before i have my exams.
i get to exercise and release stress at the same time.
what a way to enjoy life

but most importantly, i'm gonna miss my baby.
won't be seeing him for the next 5 days
sigh.
what to do.
sometimes gotta give and take.

stickers, my infatuation.

well...
ever since i was a kid,
i loved loved loved stickers.
so much that i have tons of sticker books
and up till today,
i'm still infatuated with it
especially the paded ones.
aww man.
love it so much.



but it's such a waste of money.
he would definitely not allow it
and i would stop myself from purchasing it.
but......
i'll still stop and look.
touch it.
ah.
what bliss

1 win in 9 games..

Just to encourage the team he and she support, 'its not about how well u start, but how well u end'. Yea, yet again The Reds couldn't get a win and it has been 1 win in our past 9 games.. I think that win was the 2-0 score against the loser team which played against Chelsea the part weekend :)

Well, can't wait until 2pm today because after 2, it'll be the end of my shift today and until Friday its back to work.. Gonna get some good rest in this 2 days..

hello.

he has said his hello...
and now it's my turn =)



every time i come to our blog,
i feel bored.
bored of seeing so many words.
but i'm also lazy to load so many photos.
it's too time consuming.

it takes too long to put in photos here
and it takes too long to choose photos
and make it into a collage.

but i've decided to do it now.
cuz like i said...
i'm bored looking at all the words.

a lot of events has gone by
in the past few months.
loads of photos.
but some can't be up for public viewing.

so i've pieced together some photos
that are rated-U.
dont want u guys to have to cleanse ur eyes after this post

first up,
Yian's birthday

i really love the food.
but every time we go back there,
it's always closed =(




Cia's birthday

enjoyed the yummy food & lovely cupcakes



the most recent of all

cia's house

looky looky there.
what a beautiful lamp.

Hello..

Hello..

She has mentioned to me repeatedly that this blog should change the name to esther.blogspot.. Ha.. Ha..

Well, time has really gone by so quickly.. Coming November will my 5th month working in Astro Awani already, yea.. Already waiting for my 5th month salary.. Haha.. Work has been okay.. Nothing much to update but just normal stuff like go work, go eat, go back work, then go home.. Thats about it for past 4 months..

As for he and she, we have just deposited our very first savings into our account.. Was really happy to see our savings and pray and hope it'll grow quickly.. :) haha.. But was glad that we have started something..

What else.. Erm.. Oh yea.. Liverpool beat Manchester United AGAIN in the last week's premier league encounter.. Oh well, what more can i say? We beat u guys 3 in a row.. It has been great to see this club that he and she support beating The Red Devils..

I'm now currently working.. Nothing much thats why decided to update this blog now.. When back at home means lazy la coz got my football manager game to play or heroes to watch or sleep.. Thats why no blogging..

To all the MU fans, keep hoping that u guys will beat us at Old Trafford la :) Until then, thats all..

Have a great day.. God bless..

save....?

if some of u don't already know...
i do not have the word save in my vocab.
and now...
all because of three
it has been made known to me

how am i suppose to save
when the brand that i love so much,
where the closest place it can be found
was in spore,
is now, finally, hereeeeeeee







why is my life so pathetic?
ah sheesh
maybe i can be allowed to buy at least one item a month?





btw,
he went and fix his glasses the other day at aunty joyce's
he also checked whether his power has gone up
so,
out of curiosity,
i checked mine too.
and guess what...?
i have perfect 20-20 vision

i used to have a little bit of power,
very slight,
when i was younger and stupider.
i would purposely read in the dark
or do silly stuff
just so that i can wear glasses
but i thank God,
He preserved my eyes.
i do not need to wear glasses!

running time.

time is certainly running fast.
i didn't realize that it's been a week
since i've last updated.
and it's been "years" since he did.

this week i'm on hols.
but actually i'm supposed to be doing my assignment.
bah.
i should concentrate on my assignment
so that i can get my straight A's back.
i really think it's my assignments that are bringing my grades down.
due to the last minute-ness
that i love so much.

oh wells...
as for now.
back to my games!

yet will I praise thee.

i choose to give praise to God,
even if my flesh is telling me not to.

i choose to thank Him,
for giving me what i do not deserve.

i choose to look at the better side,
rather than the bad.

i choose to praise Him.






i totally forgot that the results were out last week
cuz now i'm having a really really short sem.
so last week i only had 2 days of class
cuz they gave us friday off.

i thought i would fail one of my subjects
cuz seriously....
i couldnt answer most of it
and it was the last paper.
i didnt really have the mood to study anymore.
but i got an A- for that.
God is good huh?
He's so merciful.

however, i also didnt think that i would get good results.
considering that i crammed everything in the night before
also, doing assignments at the very last minute possible.
that's one of the reasons why im not working in a kindy now
cuz then i wont have the time to do last minute work.

sigh.
that's why...
it has gotten me such lousy lousy lousy grades.

once again,
this sem,
i got 2A's and 2B's
certainly nothing to shout about.
guess what he said was right huh?
that what i got was good....
based on the effort i put in.

guess i never really put in any effort in my studies.
sigh.
i've lost my streak of straight A's.
oh Lord God!
i suck at this studying thing....!!!!

sigh.
this sucks now.
i want my A's back...

argh!
what am i doing...?
im suppose to be praising God.

but but but....
i cant.

seven.

i just realized that numbers has relevance to my life.
not sure whether u guys remember....
but i have posts all from number 1-6.
but skipping 5 of course.
can't really think bout 5 now.
right now....
i'll just continue on with number 7.

6 months ago *click*,
i started teaching tuition.
yes.....
only 6 miserable months.

now,
on the 7th month,
they say they wanna stop.

not sure if u read my post bout...
ah see for urself *click*
but i really thought that maybe God had a plan.
i was waiting for the bigger picture.
but before i could take a step back,
God took it from me.
so.....
it's not God's plan for me?

i feel so discouraged now.
does it mean that i suck at teaching?
but i really feel that i'm no good in teaching.
ah.... whatever.
i have no idea what i'm saying.
too much stuff in my head.



whatever it is.

the main point is that.

after 7 months,
i'm no longer needed.


maybe i'm not doing a good job.
maybe i suck at what i'm doing.

sigh.

i don't know.

i don't know.

oh boy.

temptation,
oh temptation,
how can i get rid of u?

why do u always love to stick to me?


i hate it when the voice inside of me gets muted during...
and only can be heard after.

like what happened just now.


i chose to act according to my own selfish desires.
chose to shut the voice until it's over.
and only when it's over
do i think things through.
maybe this,
maybe that.

i know i know.
temptations are caused by myself.
i asked for it.
and it only can get the better of me
when i allow it to.

which i did.
i allowed it to.
and now i regret it.
i hope i have enough courage to apologize tmr.




maybe you were getting it from one side
and u didnt need to get it from me too....

i'm sorry.
goodnight....

.

they say u have a choice bout prophecies right?

of aches & erasers

today i thought the korean kids how to play eraser war.
because their dad brought a whole bag full of erasers from korea.
to my surprise,
they didn't know how to play it.
hmmm, maybe it's a malaysian thing.

it is where each person has a set of erasers,
and u have to take turns to move the eraser
till it's on top of another
so the person with the most erasers, win.

brought me back to my primary school days
where we visit the bookstore in school frequently
to get any kind of eraser there is.


then after tuition,
christine, yian, he, and i
went to play badminton.
which we haven't been playing for a long time
but christine and yian have.
had to fix the grips some more.
see... how long we didn't touch the racquet.

it reminded me so much of high school days,
we used to play badminton every week.
i remember jeremy, justin, and nick
teaching me how to smash, hit high balls, etc.
they even bought me a whole pink racquet.

boy i miss those days
*sighs returning back to reality*



now i'm aching.
shoulders, arms, legs.
but i would still wanna play some more =)

random thoughts.

4 more days till it's time for a new short sem.

i miss my mum and brother.

starting to get used to him working
& having not much time to spend with me
& doing things without him.

i'm addicted to online shopping,
bought my first dress online.
buying a few more items.

just realized that i cry easily,
even more when i see other people crying.

my bed feels empty
cuz all the soft toys that people gave have been sent to wash.
hope my mum didn't trick me and gave it away instead.

my room is still messy
even though i said i'll clean it up when my exam ends.

i'm here writing
cuz it's either this or doing things that i'm supposed to.

i think i'm getting a big fat C for one of my subjects.

i'm too lazy to write anymore random stuff....
and since i think he won't update anytime soon...
i've decided to post his graduation photos.

soon,
3 will become more real.

One World
18 August 2009

after receiving his empty scroll

obligatory photo
it was so hard to find one that can take nice photos okayyyyy...

how smart is he with his tailor made suit
thanks to me
who chose the better material

taken by his dad,
who said that it was like taken by a professional

dessert at chili's
should have gone to bubba gump instead
shucks
nevermind..
next time =)

to my dear den den.

these past 6-7 months passed by so quickly.
now, ur back in UK doing masters.
i truly had a lot of fun going out with u when u were back.
made me miss high school days though.
sigh.
now...
im all alone in msia.
while u girls are all over the world.
we better go on a holiday when we start working.
hopefully before 3.

breakfast @ mcd's before u left

of course we had to end the day with some camwhore sessions
haha

seriously...?

i seriously have no idea what God has planned out for me
or for us.

i've been thinking
and decided that i definitely don't mind the extra income from my tuition classes
to add into our "savings"
but i also don't mind not teaching.
cuz really....
it's tiring to travel up to subang for that 1 & 1/2 hours
going through the insane jam
get tortured
and travel back

before i talked to Ms.Lee today,
i decided that if she will not allow me to change the tuition classes to suit my time,
i will stop teaching.
cuz i've asked her before
and she said that i can't change.
but when i talked to her just now,
she said okay, can change
cuz she wanna change the new mandarin teacher
that replaced him.




so God...
i really have no idea what You've planned out for us.
for now,
i'll just go along with the things that You've placed in our lives.


for now,
it's still the same.
3.

not surprised.

exams are finally over and done with!
i wont be surprised if i fail or get C's for this sem.
seriously.
sigh.
guess i dont want my A's that much anymore.
why la...???

why must i keep playing my games
and surfing the net
instead of studying....!
aww man.

i wont be surprised if i fail today's paper
seriously.

miss u.

i miss u.
my kevin-idiot-ng

help!

i need help!
ah!
my mind has gone on an early semester break
even before my exams are over
how la.
tell me!
how?
i can't seem to start studying
ah!
i need to start soon if i wanna sleep early
bah
this sucks!
i hate studying!
maybe i should just off my comp
think i'll do that.


God, help me to focus please...

last.

can't wait!
can't wait!
3 down,
1 more to go!
i can't wait!
i can't wait for my exams to end!
phew!
it's coming to an end.

just got back from futsal.
had fun running around
instead of being cooped up in my room
writing out notes.

i'm too tired to start writing actually.
so i'll rest for a while before starting.

i can't wait!

rant rant rant.

i cant continue studying until i've ranted here
ugh
as some of u know,
i wont be able to attend cia's wedding ceremony.
sigh.
so depressed.
when i found out,
i wanted to cry.

prayed for a solution.
and there was a solution.
but sigh...
good things wont come so easily sometimes right?

so a decision needed to be made.
which was followed by God's peace.
that's why i know i've made the right decision.
but before i made the decision,
he layan-ed me
by coming up with pro's & con's
though he knew very well that i should sit for the exam
no questions asked
i know it's quite silly to come up with that list.
but oh wells.
i needed assurance

taken with his N79
so chun huh
haha
credits to the *ahem ahem* pro
*grins*

and so....
the decision is that i would go for my exam.
that's why i'm studying now silly!
if not,
who cares bout the exam!
sheesh

haha.
okay...
i think i've ranted enough
if not i'll come back again later =)
sigh
a students life is filled with sorrow and dissatisfaction

grateful.

Thank You God
for answering my prayers.
i know that i've been lazy.
i've been out the whole day
and once again i'm studying last minute.
but You've listened to me
and granted me a quick mind.
a mind like a sponge,
ready to absorb everything i memorize.

now,
i just pray that no one squeezes all the information out.
haha.


now my head feels heavier.
not sure whether it's cuz of the lack of sleep
or cuz i do have loads of information in there
waiting to be squeezed out tmr.

bahs.
talking nonsense.

if he knows that i'm here writing this
and not studying....
he'll so kill me.
nah, just joking!
he loves me too much to kill me
probably strangle me.
haha
okay!
enough nonsense.
back to studying!

finals.

finals are here.
this week and next.
and as usual....
suddenly i'll have loads of motivation to update this blog.

hmmmm...
but today's one will be short.
don't know why this time round,
i started getting stressed earlier.

probably cuz i had 2 B's the last sem.
so now i must work harder to get back my A's.

gotta get down to studying now.


tata =)

grey.

when we were younger,
things were sort of different.
things were kind of black & white.

do not do this,
do not do that.
do this,
do that.
don't go there,
go here.

our personalities and viewpoints were somehow similar to our peers.
we would know that some of our thoughts would be best if it would just remain as thoughts.
never to be put into actions.
we would know our limits and boundaries.

but.....
as we grow older,
things seem to be a little more "complicated"
things do not seem as black & white like they do before.

eventually,
everything becomes cloudy.
it becomes grey.

as we grow older,
we lose a little of ourselves
and sometimes...
we turn into someone we do not know entirely.

somehow,
our limits and boundaries seems to be able to expand themselves.
our thoughts do not remain as thoughts anymore,
we become braver to put them into actions.

eventually,
everything becomes cloudy.
it becomes grey.

updates.

more updates to come.
once my prayers are answered =(

trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3 : 5 & 6

sigh.

i can only heave a deep, loud, heavy sigh!

cross your heart..

After watching quite a number of of animation especially in the cinema, thought that it will never be worth it to watch them in the cinema but should just download and watch it..

Two days ago, baby and i just went to watch UP.. Having seen the trailer and all, seemed like another fun to watch animation with lots of laughter coming along..

To my suprise, UP is a little different.. It must be the 1st animation for me that can bring tears to my eyes.. Not just once, but several times.. And baby, of coz.. Look at her, which show she won't cry one? Haha.. My shoulder went all wet that day..

Having said much, UP is fun, adventurous, funny and of coz, a very touching film.. And my theory is quite right, Walt Disney films will never go wrong la.. So it is all worth it to watch it in the cinema, despite the H1N1 virus la..

'Cross your heart'

Sunday morning came

yea.. Sunday morning came.. Feels good to be back in church on a sunday, morning. Hope u all had a good time too..

Wow.. Haha.. Just found out how to press enter using this N79. Cool.. If u don't know how, just press 0 twice and u'll get an enter.. Cool right? Haha.. :)

Alright.. Back to news.. :) work.. Work..

Sunday morning is coming

Its been so long since i've attended church on Sundays.. I miss going church. especially on Sundays.. missing the praise and worship time, the preaching of the Word.. So, tomorrow will be the 1st Sunday going to church for this month.. Feels good.. Soon, 3 more hours i'll be done here at work then can go back sleep then wake up early for breakfast then Sunday service.. Its all good.. :)

artsy-fartsy.

my last minute color wheel.
he helped.
in the picture before this,
it looked like i tortured and forced him to help me.
but actually....
i think he enjoyed painting it with me.
i painted too okay.
i think he looked that way
cuz he was saying that i always do last minute work.
it was 12 something in the morning.

i was quite skeptical in the beginning.
u know...
with my "creativity" skills.
but.
i guess i proved myself wrong.

in fact,
i'm quite proud of what i drew.
so proud that i don't mind sharing it here.
please don't burst my bubble.
it may not seem nice enough for u.
but it looks perfect to me.

i never could draw properly.
even with a paper to follow.
but i COULD!
and i don't know what's wrong with my phone.
can't focus properly.

the toning effects.
we're suppose to do 2 types.
one colored like the one below
and another one
using 3 colors.
which cannot be seen.
cuz it's TOO darn ugly!

i like this alot.
but too bad i had to tone the whole body as well.
didn't like that,
so no photo of it =)

some.

here are some photos which i haven't uploaded =)

can u guess what is this?
it's a piano and a chair.
the 2 naughty korean kids made it for me.
it was the last day of tuition.
so chillings abit la.

and if ur wondering,
no.
i do not miss them.

sigh.
regret not buying this dress.
it's not there anymore =(



my first time going to jogoya
was quite disappointing
cuz i didn't think that the food was that great.

but....
after mum became a VIP.
the food became tastier.
cuz only the VIP get to have special orders.
like the prawn above
and the dessert below.

this was quite nice.
but abit too jelak after a while.


and finally...
after don't know how long,
i've finally gotten my anniversary present.
i'm a happy happy girl.

his.
very first pair.
i'm so proud that i got him his very first.
he was suppose to blog bout it.
but he made me do it.
sheesh.
idiot.

mine.
up to date,
this is the most expensive present he has gotten me.