so you would come.

it has been days.
been a week plus.

i've been in an emotional roller coaster.
but most of it all....
i've been feeling the shittiest.
it's been a long time since i've felt like this.
the worst was bout 6 or 7 years ago.
that was the worst.

i never thought that this feeling would come back and haunt me.
i must say that it's not AS shitty as the last time.
but still... it's shitty!
shitty shit shit...!
yeah, loads of shit.
tons of shit.
truckload of shit!



as i was bathing (i know.. weirdest time)
i was reminded of this song
"so you would come"
and this video speaks so much.


"for if you love only those who love you,
what reward is there in that?"


it has been a constant battle.
to say or not to say.
to care or not to care.
to love or not to love.
to talk or not to talk.
to settle or not to settle.
to face it or not to face it.

the battle has not ended.
but i hope it won't last too long.
i don't know whether i can take it anymore.