something about me

today I realized a little something about myself. actually, it's been a while that I've become aware of this part of myself. I've never really thought much about it until today.

you see, I'm quite an introverted person. I don't really like to talk about myself, what's been happening, or even share things about myself. In a conversation, whenever someone asks about me and what's been happening, I'll definitely tell them something but nothing below the surface. Everything will be short and simple. I like to listen which more often than not, it creates a difficulty for me to find friends.

in order for me to find a friend, I would have to spend a whole lot of time with them. in the beginning, there'll be loads of silence if the other person is like me, quiet. but if the other person is talkative, the situation might seem a little less awkward but in time, I will talk more than I would in the beginning. 

sometimes when I talk with extroverted people, I wish that I could be like them, smooth talkers. they seem to know what to say, like a good come back or a comment or an opinion about something.

I'm not like that, especially if I'm not close to them, I find it hard to respond or give my opinions. 

something happened today which made me feel worse than I usually do. during tutorial, we were broken up into groups to brainstorm a task. everyone was confused as to what was expected of the task. but after the lecturer explained, I understood but the rest of my group didn't. they tried to solve the question the wrong way and the whole time I was trying to explain to them and tell them that that's not what we were supposed to do. but nope, nobody wanted to listen to me. nobody even acknowledged that I was speaking (btw, this has happened quite a number of times in my classes here). 

so anyway, when they were halfway through finding the answer, they realized that that's not what was required. so, we had to start all over again; or rather they, because at that point of time I just didn't wanna give anymore inputs. 

sometimes I just wonder what is wrong with me