four.

it's been a while since i've continued my numbers.
haha.
think it's time for me to continue it =)

we've planned,
we've decided.
not sure whether it'll work out.
but we're praying & hoping that it will.

it seems like it's gonna be a long time more.
but it felt like it was just months ago that i've gotten my driving license
and this year, it's my 4th year.
4 years of driving.
can u believe it?

so it should pass really fast again right?

but when it comes,
will we be able to escape what we feel now?
will it get worse as time goes on?
will this draw us closer to each other?
draw us closer to God?

true.
it's not something that we can choose.
but we have to be grateful right?
some people don't even have it.
we should be glad to have it.
but why don't we feel glad?
why don't we feel grateful?
but it is it that made him to be who he is now.
i'm grateful.
but somehow,
it's not enough.
i want it to be more.
to be better.
to be something that i'm familiar with.
to be a thing that the both of us think that it is an ideal, perfect it.
funny how sometimes we take advantage of what we have huh?
but this is a different story.
it is SO damn difficult.
i can't STAND it!
i don't know how much longer i can take it.

i don't even know whether i'm feeling numb bout it
or i just don't care bout it.
sigh.
i guess maybe i've learnt not to expect anything from it.
it doesn't hurt as much.
but i have a feeling that if i continue to think bout it,
it'll hurt.
it'll hurt pretty bad.
sigh.
think it's better that i don't think bout it.